burned out firechild

the last thing i need is a cold. o god i do not want to be sick. cannot afford to. ah shit i can’t stop sneezing… i can’t even afford generic ascorbic acid and kleenex… toilet paper na lang… shit i hate this. arrgh!

***

inventory ng mga di natupad na pangarap:

dark blue shaggy rug

pepper mill

complete spice rack

bonsai plants

electric can opener

oven (waahh!!)

knockdown cabinet with built in full length mirror

white Jap lanterns covering my flourescents ( i have the lanterns, di ko lang makabit and i can’t afford to pay anyone to do it)

flat/semi flat tv (tv na lang ng nanay ko na nabubulok na )

washing machine with spin dryer

all-white bahay

So deadma na to this kababawan wishlist. Ang objective ay maka-move out. So make-do na lang tayo. Sanay naman tayo sa low budget (or no budget). Naiinis lang ako kasi may budget naman, kay tagal nga lang. But it’s ok, forced savings. there are more important things to spend on.

Ang tanging natupad lang ay fresh green granny apples in a stainless wire basket sitting daintily on my bleached wood table (actually fake wood sya). So keri na rin.

***

I just realized that I hate teaching. Gusto ko nang mag-quit. Mistake talaga ito. Sana lalake na lang ito na pwede mong sabihan ng "it’s just not working". but no. i have to wait it out till the end of the sem before i’m free. hay.

***

While sorting out the stuff I’m gonna bring to the new place, I just realized… lahat ng pambahay kong clothes, may butas. As in. All of them. Holes, frayed hems, garters showing, rattiness defined. Will not be sold in any ukay for 10 pesos per kilo.  I haven’t bought shorts or any sort of house clothes since my first sweldo in etel. and that was like 2003? 3 years ago?! Si Declan din, 70% of his clothes were bought ages ago. Argh. Another shopping day required…. Yes these are the most comfortable clothes on the planet but no, Declan and I cannot be seen at the new place looking like a professional beggars. Yes naghihirap na kami, but we don’t need to look the part.

***

I also realized that I hate shopping. I hate watching my my very few bills of money go in the cash registers. I hate the stupid SM salespeople. I hate the crowds of people who have more money to spend. I hate the cab drivers you need to deal with when its time to go home. I hate the impossibly long queues at the cashier, at the taxi stand. Argh.

****

Okay enough of this nega-ness. I have to be more positive. As old friend Lance put it: "Pohstive, pohsitive, pohsitive, POHSITIVE!"

This entry was posted on Friday, June 23rd, 2006 at 10:26 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.