burned out firechild

After months of abuse, my body has finally succumbed to illness. My lungs leaden, tonsils like live coals. The act of sleeping became more like a swim at an olympic sized pool in that I had to breathe through my mouth, gasp for precious air. I consume enormous amounts of tissue and make disgsting nose-blowing and coughing sounds. My bones feel spongy, my head pressurized.

Nobody welcomes that, obviously. Not when you know you cannot cuddle up or play with your offspring. And on a weekend too when it is the only time you can do so. And at a time when you need tactile reinforment from someone you love.

Then there’s this children’s party he attended, which I didn’t of course, lest I infect the other toddlers. My mother retold Declan’s experience of seeing Dora the Explorer (a dumb mascot of course) for the first time. He watches the darned show all the time (he loves it whe Map comes out and Backpack too) and was just ecstatic to see a live action version of it. He and his yaya also won a prize in one of those kiddie contests. And we never join kiddie contests– it’s against my principles to make a spectacle of  myself in that manner. So it was actually a good thing for Declan that I wasn’t able to go. I dont have any pictures to show naturally. My dad didn’t take Quoyle along when I offered to. Pride reasons I guess. So there passes by another stellar moment in Declan’s life. Another addition to the many others I have missed.

Another landmark I missed was his first word. Yes, his first word, Some mother huh? But I’d like to think that it doesn’t count because he never repeated it. My guess is that he uttered the word out of an extreme surge of emotion. Declan is adorable, fun loving, the reason for my existence and a lot of other things, but he is also a spoiled brat. He always gets his way when my folks are around (which is 75% of the time). But not however on that one instance, when arriving at the house after a trip to the mall he didn’t want to get out of the car. Probably wanted to "pasyal" some more. He wanted it so much, and angry at my family forcing him to come home, that he uttered his first whole word : "Ayaw!" I would like to pester and nag him until he says it again. Alas i don’t have the energy to.

Speaking of energy, I’m slowly gaining it back with the weekends respite. Being sick has its upsides too. You save money by not going out. You’re waistline decreases with your loss of appetite. You’re digestion and circulation improves with the amounts of water, juices, and fruits you take– not that you actually chose too, these are the only things you can ingest at this time. Your lungs take a break when you ditch the cigs. Ditto your liver with the self imposed liquor ban. Sleep hours are extended, doing wonders for your skin and well being. Not too bad after all.

Still, I’m giving myself a month to fully recover or longer. I don’t get sick easily, but once I do, I get hit hard. Similar to other aspects of my life… like luuuvv… hahahah!

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 6th, 2005 at 2:23 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.