burned out firechild

Now who says money can’t buy happiness… Everyone, meet Quoyle. He’s definitely a steal for 5,995Php– 3.2 megapixels, 16MD internal memory, provisions for SD & MMC storage, lightweight, and made by Kodak (so they got a service center here in case anything happens, as in the case of Wavey who at the moment is recuperating at Greenhills). 

I just woke up last Sunday and felt this great urge to take Declan out to a day at the mall. Itinerary includes a trip to a barber, lunch at a fastfood joint, then off to Shark Boy & Lava Girl if he still isn’t cranky.Then I suddenly remembered the Kodak c300 model I saw the day before. Then I remembered the unpreserved moments in the minute time i spend with him each week. That’s it. I wouldn’t wait till payday. And it was worth it. I was finally happy. And i remember that happiness each time I see these pics.

We didn’t get to watch Shark Boy cause the 4:30 pm screening would be too arduous to wait for. We just went home early, treated him to bottle of warm formula and goofed around till bedtime….

It was an awful long time before Declan got to appear in this blog. Now you lurkers will be seeing a lot more of him.  And I don’t care if I be branded as an "exhibitionist". He’s keeping the sparks alive for this burned out firechild and this I share with the universe. Besides, I’m so tired of seeing pictures of my fugly self.

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Another nugget of happiness worth sharing would be dining at Ziggurat. It’s Makati Ave’s best kept secret and I haven ‘t stopped raving about it since my first visit with the Oracle gang. Excellent food in such a diverse array, you could actually savor one dish everyday for 3 months without repeating a single one. Indian, Mediterranean, African, Middle Eastern cuisine all in one restaurant. A foodie would have died and gone to heaven. The ambiance is what I also like about it. Being tucked between Tigris & Euphrates streets  (and this is no joke), its not the type of place you’d pass by and decide to go check. It’s like nobody eats here which is perfect if you abhor the crowds and blasting music of the more frequented eats. Service is nice (it had to be if you’re the only customers). The place is so cozy, complete with Persian designed throw pillows and lamps. Plus it’s open 24 hours. But the place emits a strange electricity that make you feel, well, happy just eating there. At least my 2 moon children think so (I’ve yet to bring Sunny & the Cleavage girls there). It’s worth a visit. Definitely another one. And another…

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Going back to Quoyle, my camera, I came to my attention that every time I have a terrible love-related experience with the opposite sex, I get myself a new electronic device. I got Wavey right after the brief bout of depression after the brief encounter with Declan’s dad. And I got Quoyle after I got dumped (well sort of) by Grindboy. Their names I got from "The Shipping News" cause I’m such an Annie Proulx fan…

So there I go, filling in this internal void. I don’t know if that’s a good thing. It shows that at least I have a modicum of buying power. And it’s more productive than pickling my liver with alcohol or frying my brain cells with weed. Electronic devices are easier to deal with than men. They’re more useful too. A decade from now, I will be a techie old maid. Harhar.

So these are the things that make me happy. A satisfying meal and gigabytes of images and sounds. Which I guess explains the key to my unhappiness. An insatiable hunger, a bottomless void, the feeling of emptiness, that I’m always lacking something. And everything I do is driven by the need to fill up this emptiness, satisfy this hunger, blah blah blah. And it will never be satisfied, it will never be fed enough. And so the need for great food, nice things, gargantuan disk spaces, more friends, more adulation, more critical acclaim, more information, more skill sets, more sensory experiences… And I don’t know how to stop it. I should change this blog to Hungry Firechild.

I’m sorry. I’m perennially sad. But I try to be happy. I really do. And those fleeting moments, I do my best to prolong, preserve, and share.

Ok. From now on, this will be a happy blog. No more self-flagellation. No more whining. I shall not write here unless it is to share a happy experience. I know I run the risk of not writing here ever again. But that only means I need to find more things in this measly existence that I ought to be happy for.

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