Archive for October, 2005

“wild nights are my glory”

Monday, October 31st, 2005

So goes the line from Madeline L’Engle’s "A Wrinkle in Time" . An apt title I guess as how the events of last Friday fell into place was near sci-fi… almost other worldly… a strange electricity in the air faintly crackling throughthat night’s black sky… echos!

7:45pm– The first stop was at this parlor where i had a hot oil treatment and had my bangs cut. Cheap rituals that were to prepare me for the night to come. Yes laugh all you want, even old crones like me need a trip to the hairdresser.

9:00 pm– The Ziggurat: Dinner with Digital Cheese. Just the three of us supposedly. Mulligatawny soup was what I had. As usual it was a hit. Shiney & Jules had the usual humus & tabouleh & the mandatory pita. Vegetarian fare, although none of us were that. The only thing grilled at the table was Shiney’s "Puwang " script. Poor Shiney, she had to ask my opinion over beer when my voice is louder, my mind is quicker, and my tact and reservation totally vanished. It has the makings of a great short, dont get me wrong. Si Shine pa. But I knew she felt that Jules & I were ganging up on her spirit emptied out on the crumpled sheets. Well she opted to stay at home to write write write. She looked cheerfull in the pictures though… By my 2nd bottle of strong ice, Sunny & Che came along. I asked them over, as my presence was sorta expected at their meeting with our uber-talented prodigal drummerEmman. They seemed to enjoy as well… Nina was the last to arrive, in full muslim-goth regalia that would put Sarah Balabagan to shame. Third bottle came more pictures, then my make-up session– Cleopatra inspired as we were at The Ziggurat nonetheless. I prided myself at being able to gather such awesome motley in one place. And my three moonchildren at that. I never imagined such a feat would happen as effortlessly. With my sweet satellites in alignment, I seemed to glow even brighter.

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12:30– Absinth: This is it! The main event. Mirex, Nina’s beau in shining armor escorted us up the back  stairs so we got in for free hah! And there I was. Totally badly dressed, out of place, and loving it! "Ethereal" music blasted through the bar (although the blasting took away like 70% of its ethereal-ness) peopled with beautiful people in black either groping each other or looking fashionably bored and forlorn. Not Nina and I though. Smirnoff ice was the drink of the night and we had like three of them bottles. We crashed into the bar next door and danced our hearts out for like 2 minutes to tasteless dance/rnb before running out, our sides aching with laughter. I met a lot of interesting people. Grindboy was there would you believe, of all people. I finally get to see him in the flesh. It was fun, we neither looked like what we expected. But when we ran out of small talk and he was showing me pictures of his dog on his cam-phone (it was a cute dog), I had to excuse myself and dive back in the music… There would have been more pics had I not left my newly bought alkalines back at Ziggurat. Drat… I managed to appreciate more the music of Nina’s friends Names are for Tombstones & Skies of Ember. And these two groups, along with some members of The Late Isabel, were very much open to have their music used for free for independent films. Or they would score for free which was even better. I hope they weren’t that wasted and would remember by the time we actually make the films to use them for… I think I had  red horse in between the smirnoffs… my pictures look awful. thank god for Picasa…

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I also met a new possible boylet bwahahaha… but i was so smashed… all i remember from our conversation was me talking to a curtain of long dark hair as I moved my mouth to his ear so i wouldn’t have to shout out my small talk (and small talk sounds terrible aloud)… he was nice enough to type his number and save in on my fone himself as I was too drunk to do so… argh… flirting like driving is something I have no aptitude for… He did seem nice, we’ve been texting everyday since… Alas, the night had to end as the gorgeous Ember boys had to leave and continue the party somewhere else… But each had in tow a pale girl wearing dark make up and darker clothes. I was not pale and I was more dressed for a day of shopping, and I didn’t have an Ember boy to uh– tow me. So I had to bid them goodbye and hied off to good ole Bigsky.

4:30am– Big Sky Mind: The cab ride seemed forever and when the driver woke me I felt like Rip Van Winkle. I know, it’s a dangerous thing to fall asleep on the cab ride. Either the driver is a saint or I looked like a hideous thing with eyeliner. I wobbled my way up to the loft of Bigsky where Jules, Malay,their friend & MaryJane were waiting. Malay had a nice roller. But to my surprise, he was there too. Let us call him ToothbrushBoy (you will know why if you’ve seen him in his "major starrer"). Um, we do know each other, but after that night, well i guess we now know each other "differently". It must be the bangs. Aheheh. He gave me his number on the back of a SaGuijo beer stub. I was too drunk to take pictures. Too drunk to remember details. And I rambled on saying things that can incriminate me to a repected actress and an editor who worked where I used to. A san mig lightwas all that I could take at that point.

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5:30am or thereabouts; Mr. Kebab. Great more Persian food. This was where I realized that I should never get into a moving vehicle before my "amats" subsides. I used all my consciousness left to prevent myself from throwing up on Jules shoulder. My head was resting on the table the whole time while they ordered their chelo’s and biryani rice. The next thing I knew, we had to go. But I was too spent to go anywhere. They ended up taking me to my fave DOP’s apartment ( which was like 5 mins away) where I crashed on their couch not leaving them much choice.

9am: McDonald’s. Recollections of the previous night slowly took form as ate my big breakfast and drank putrid fast food coffee. All those, surprising encounters. The feeling of giddiness akin to a rollercoaster ride. That night had a "glamour" that seemed to rub off on those that chose to revel in it. I felt lucky. I felt grateful.

12:nn: SM Bicutan– And the feeling hadn’t worn off yet. Even while I tried to sleep in the smelly heated bus on a snail’s pace down eds. I lugged the diapers and other groceries past two floors, across the parking lot, into the tricycle. And even as I upload the pictures and write this blog two days later.

I don’t know how long it will last though. It may not.  But I think I’m getting really better in the so-called pursuit of happiness.

Una Mas, Wavey, and the Importance of Saving as you go

Thursday, October 27th, 2005

Grrr. I wrote a very long and very cheerful entry just 5 minutes ago. And just because I’m too stupid to figure out how to add a trackback. I just erased everything. Aaaargh…

Why are all my attempts to at happiness easily foiled? I was feeling really great earlier, narrating the mundane events of my day at Greenhills yesterday. Now I’m totally pissed. Totally pissed. I can’t re-write it in verbatim. The essence has been lost. But let me try. God, I hate this.

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Actually, it shouldn’t be a big deal. Just wanted to share with the world that Wavey is back and well. Kudos to DataCore’s efficient repair service. As expected I got her yesterday, a week after I left her there when she just hanged and wouldn’t function for some strange reason. But the good part is her backlight’s now working (it didn’t when she was first bought), and none of my songs were erased!Imagine that. I was already mourning for the precious mp3s I scrounged over the past few months, so I was ecstatic that they were still there. Ooh joy!

Since DataCore opens at 10, Nina and I had about 2 hours to kill after our shift that ended at 8am. We took a cab to Greenhills and got there 30 minutes after. Luckily Una Mas was open for breakfast. It was a rainy gloomy day perfect for a beer, and it was a good thing they served it too.

100_0014_2As the name suggests Una Mas is a restaurant serving Spanish Cuisine. Nothing Spanish though about Nina’s Salmon Belly with Garlic Rice and my omelet which though was called a "Spanish" omelet, was just as common as tapsilog.100_0022 Nina was laughing at me as she bore witness to my voracious appetite. I ordered extra rice, because the 2 slices of garlic bread just wouldn’t do. And it was a large omelet– like made of three eggs I think and stuffed with peppers, chorizo strips, onions, olives and tomatoes. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to take a pic cause I just scoffed the fluffy yellow thing immediately. What an appetite! And still I complain about my bulging belly.

100_0016We finished our San Mig Lights after the meal and made a short stopover to The Body Shop– they had a sale going on and I’m seriously considering the Bergamot spray at 50% off. Then off to DataCore on the Annapolis side tucked amongst the other musty electronics shops.

Also the restroom sink at Jollibee in that area is a must-see. It’s the first I’ve seen in ever, and whoever made it is an industrial art whiz– in my humble opinion. basta…

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So there goes my boring day. Hopefully come Friday, I have something more substantial to write.

happiness

Monday, October 24th, 2005

C300Now who says money can’t buy happiness… Everyone, meet Quoyle. He’s definitely a steal for 5,995Php– 3.2 megapixels, 16MD internal memory, provisions for SD & MMC storage, lightweight, and made by Kodak (so they got a service center here in case anything happens, as in the case of Wavey who at the moment is recuperating at Greenhills). 

I just woke up last Sunday and felt this great urge to take Declan out to a day at the mall. Itinerary includes a trip to a barber, lunch at a fastfood joint, then off to Shark Boy & Lava Girl if he still isn’t cranky.Then I suddenly remembered the Kodak c300 model I saw the day before. Then I remembered the unpreserved moments in the minute time i spend with him each week. That’s it. I wouldn’t wait till payday. And it was worth it. I was finally happy. And i remember that happiness each time I see these pics.

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We didn’t get to watch Shark Boy cause the 4:30 pm screening would be too arduous to wait for. We just went home early, treated him to bottle of warm formula and goofed around till bedtime….

It was an awful long time before Declan got to appear in this blog. Now you lurkers will be seeing a lot more of him.  And I don’t care if I be branded as an "exhibitionist". He’s keeping the sparks alive for this burned out firechild and this I share with the universe. Besides, I’m so tired of seeing pictures of my fugly self.

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Another nugget of happiness worth sharing would be dining at Ziggurat. It’s Makati Ave’s best kept secret and I haven1582550now_open_24_hrsmanila ‘t stopped raving about it since my first visit with the Oracle gang. Excellent food in such a diverse array, you could actually savor one dish everyday for 3 months without repeating a single one. Indian, Mediterranean, African, Middle Eastern cuisine all in one restaurant. A foodie would have died and gone to heaven. The ambiance is what I also like about it. Being tucked between Tigris & Euphrates streets  (and this is no joke), its not the type of place you’d pass by and decide to go check. It’s like nobody eats here which is perfect if you abhor the crowds and blasting music of the more frequented eats. Service is nice (it had to be if you’re the only customers). The place is so cozy, complete with Persian designed throw pillows and lamps. Plus it’s open 24 hours. But the place emits a strange electricity that make you feel, well, happy just eating there. At least my 2 moon children think so (I’ve yet to bring Sunny & the Cleavage girls there). It’s worth a visit. Definitely another one. And another…5 9 Myk_pix72

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Going back to Quoyle, my camera, I came to my attention that every time I have a terrible love-related experience with the opposite sex, I get myself a new electronic device. I got Wavey right after the brief bout of depression after the brief encounter with Declan’s dad. And I got Quoyle after I got dumped (well sort of) by Grindboy. Their names I got from "The Shipping News" cause I’m such an Annie Proulx fan…

So there I go, filling in this internal void. I don’t know if that’s a good thing. It shows that at least I have a modicum of buying power. And it’s more productive than pickling my liver with alcohol or frying my brain cells with weed. Electronic devices are easier to deal with than men. They’re more useful too. A decade from now, I will be a techie old maid. Harhar.

So these are the things that make me happy. A satisfying meal and gigabytes of images and sounds. Which I guess explains the key to my unhappiness. An insatiable hunger, a bottomless void, the feeling of emptiness, that I’m always lacking something. And everything I do is driven by the need to fill up this emptiness, satisfy this hunger, blah blah blah. And it will never be satisfied, it will never be fed enough. And so the need for great food, nice things, gargantuan disk spaces, more friends, more adulation, more critical acclaim, more information, more skill sets, more sensory experiences… And I don’t know how to stop it. I should change this blog to Hungry Firechild.

I’m sorry. I’m perennially sad. But I try to be happy. I really do. And those fleeting moments, I do my best to prolong, preserve, and share.

Ok. From now on, this will be a happy blog. No more self-flagellation. No more whining. I shall not write here unless it is to share a happy experience. I know I run the risk of not writing here ever again. But that only means I need to find more things in this measly existence that I ought to be happy for.

quizzes for the uninspired

Tuesday, October 11th, 2005

weeks of no posting, and this is all i have to share… duh?! lotsa things happened the past few weeks… details when the writer’s block subsides…

***You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish***

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don’t actively fight them.
You’re just you. You don’t try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/howboyishorgirlishareyouquiz/

***Your Brain’s Pattern***

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life.
You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first.
You’re also good at connecting people - and often play match maker.
You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatpatternisyourbrainquiz/

***Your Japanese Name Is…***

Kaori Gosetsuke

What’s your Japanese Name?
http://www.blogthings.com/japanesenamegenerator/

***The Keys to Your Heart***

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you’re told that you’re loved.

You’d like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything… no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You’ll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You’ll do anything for love, but you won’t fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/

***Your IQ Is 100***

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average
Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test
http://www.blogthings.com/quickanddirtyiqtest/

***You Are 23 Years Old***

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what’s to come… love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You’ve had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You’ve been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatagequiz/

***You Are Somewhat Machiavellian***

You’re not going to mow over everyone to get ahead…
But you’re also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.
You understand how the world works, even when it’s an ugly place.
You just don’t get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

How Machiavellian Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/howmachiavellianareyouquiz/

***Your Personality Is***

Rational (NT)

You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.
You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!

Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.
In fact, you’re often a little short with people who don’t impress you mentally.

You seem distant to some - but it’s usually because you’re deep in thought.
Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.

In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent.

At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia.

With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can’t take your criticism well.

As far as your looks go, you’re coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.

On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test
http://www.blogthings.com/threequestionpersonalitytest/